dark

How does one go on living when he already feels dead inside?

How would a soldier continue the fight when he is already weary and tired?

How does a runner find the energy to continue running when he can’t see the end in sight?

How would you reach your goal when you have lost sight of it?

H0w do you find the light when the whole world becomes dark?

something wrong?

Can’t log in my blogger blog so I decided to post here instead. Don’t understand the problem really, it’s so technical for me. LOLS. It says “Invalid certificate” or something. Don’t know what it means and what to do so I won’t even think about it.

So here I am. yeah posting my random thoughts and what-nots.

We will be having a meeting in a shortwhile and I’m just passing the time by.

Slept the whole afternoon and woke up just a few minutes ago. Woke up really reallyhungry so I went out and bought banana cue for myself.

Still waiting for the people to appear here in the office. Where in the world are they? huh…

Enough for now. Can’t think of anything sensible to post here. So bye bye before this gets worse!

A verse for the Unborn

Your sun has set

Before it could even rise

You have yet to start the journey

You haven’t even seen the light

The stork has made a mistake

And now you will not even see the dawn break

A tiny thing yet to show beauty

No bigger than the hands that ended your journey

Nobody heard your cries

As you struggled to live

Your tiny form, now mangled and broken

You were flushed out of your cocoon

They sent you into oblivion

The angels cried when they took you away

To the sky they took you with their halos and wings

Now little angel, in heaven you will stay

You were a miracle

But they did not understand

You were a blessing

But they will simply not listen

They said you’re a curse

A punishment for their sins

You didn’t have the voice

To reason for yourself

So they sent you away

“To a better place,” the say

You were never given the choice

If you would rather stay

Now say goodbye little angel

Fly away with your tiny wings

Laugh at them who hurt you

They never did understand

That though you were made from sin

You were given as a gift from God

Hole in my pocket

P500.

3 days. Gone.

Hole in my pocket? Could be.

Impulsive buyer? definitely.

New School Year’s Resolution

Or The Things That I Was Supposed To Do But Was Too Lazy To Do It.

 ♥ Save at least 10 pesos per day.This would mean giving up my “extra snacks” but I know that’s it’s high time that I learn the value of thriftiness. At the end of each month I will have P300 or more and by the end of the School year (if everything goes as planned) I will have P3, 000. Chuckx!

♥ Attend Classes. Really. This is somethingthat I should have been doing all along. This is my final year in college (hopefully) and there will be no more next times. I will have to do it right now or just jump off a bridge instead.

♥ If not in the office, NO INTERNET. Save the money instead!!

♥ Save Honoraria. I’ve been saying time and again that if I save my honoraria, by the end of the end I will have enough money to buy what I want–like a really sleek digicam perhaps?

♥ Don’t Argue with teachers—even if they’re wrong. yeah. This year I’ll try to shut up so my instructors won’t be annoyed at me. I’ll finally behave. Promise!

♥ Comply deficiences and so on. Yeah, and pass assignments on time.

♥ Take the Civil Service Exams. It’s for the future so don’t act like a sluggard!

♥ Minimize blogging and other online charness. Yeah, so you could finally focus on the things that really matters.

My cousin and the Ferris Wheel

(A Long Delayed Post)

I was supposedto post about this after I went back from my hometown but because my mind keeps on wandering to other things, I was not able to. Good thing I remembered it now though.

It happened when I went home last May 12 (or 13 or 14…can’t remember really) for the fiesta. I was so tired and lightheaded after almost five hours of travelling that I was already imagining myself sleeping like the dead in my bed. Unfortunately for me, my 8 year-old cousin was at home when I arrived. She asked me relentlessly if I wanted to go to the plaze and probably play there. I told her that I would bring her there but we will just ride the ferris wheel instead.

I did not tell her when I would be bringer her exactly but she was so excited that as early as 5pm (the perya opens at dusk and the ferris at arund 7pm) she was already dressed and prepared. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I am still nauseated and my head is about to burst. So I just compromised and brought her instead.

Everything went fine at first then after 20 minutes, I feel like vomiting and my head is throbbing. At first I did not mind it and pretended that everything is fine. My cousin was enjoying her self and she was laughing and shouting excitedly the whole time. I don’t have the heart to tell her that we have to get off the ferris wheel because the chicken that I ate for dinner is about to make a return journey.

After a few minutes (when I could no longer take it) I gently told her, “baba na tayo…” At first I thought she did not hear me so I waited for another few minutes and told her again. “Lheanne, baba na tayo. Masakit na ang ulo ko…” Again she just kept on laughing and shouting like she did not hear me at all.

The next time I told her, almost pleading, she just looked at me and started singing. She kept it on for another 15 minutes that I had to signal my Auntie that we had to get off immideately. I was already pale and weak but my cousin was still laughing and singing, almost clinging to the seat of the ferris wheel and doesn’t want to get off.

Imagine that! That child is like a little terrorist to me, torturing me at every possible chance. But I love her all the same.

undecided

I still can’t decide whether I would abandon my Blogger blog and concentrate here or what.

This is what happens if you’ve enjoyed exploring blog sites so much. I could no longerdecide which to prioritize.

Maybe I’ll try to maintain both. ughh!

wish I could import

I wish I could import my blogger blog here in my calliope blog. I do enjoy in blogger of course but this blog has been one of the firsts and I couldn’t update it anymore if I keep my blogger blog. I don’t want to let go of the blogger blog either.

Besides this blog has more site traffic than my other blog. Perhaps its the URL. I was so ignorant when I first made this blog that I used the first to to come into my mind as a URL.

Anyway, I do wish I could have a unified blog account.=)

A VERY very early Christmas gift

Dear Santa,

            I know its still March and its way tooooo early to ask for a Christmas gift but I do believe in the saying that, “Christmas is in our hearts…” and because I do, I would like to ask for an early Christmas present from you.

            I wanted to ask for a laptop initially but then I saw that new PS3 advertised on TV and I decided to ask for that instead. You know, its summer again and summer is just way too boring without anything to entertain you. With this gadget I could download games and kiss boredom goodbye! If I’m not mistaken, with the PS3, you can also connect to the internet and play your games online. I especially wanted to play that Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom. It’s actually a role playing game and I do sure love role playing games.

            Please Santa, I would really want to have that PS3 with all its accessories and all its games and everything it can offer. Please, please, please… I promise I’ll be really really good this year…=)

 always…

Aian

Unlinked

A teardrop,

A sigh of regret,

A simple goodbye

The delicate chain has been broken,

Now I have to let you go.

I am burying your memory,

With the past that we shared

I dug so deep so it wouldn’t be unearthed

And break my heart again.

When love is lost,

It can always be recovered.

But when friendship is gone,

It is gone forever.

The special bond that we used to share

Has long been forgotten,

Gone were the days when we used to care for each other

Our past is now a history,

frozen in tiny photographs.

No more sounds of laughter,

No more traces of tears.

All that remained of our friendship is a tiny canvass,

A bitter reminder of what used to be.

Our smiling faces plastered in tiny snapshots,

Our laughters, echoes of yesterday

Yesterday seemed so long ago,

The shattering of the chains seemed distant and dreamlike,

Only the resounding pain makes it real.

My heart shattered in every single blow,

My teardrops fell as our special bond slowly let go,

I couldn’t stop you if you wanted so much to go,

I only wished that you had been gentle

When you finally closed that door

Now, I could only bade you goodbye

As my broken spirit slowly heals.

Loving Dumaguete

I opened this blog during my first few months here in Dumaguete City, the city of Gentle people.

Surprise!Surprise!

It never fails to surpise me that there are people who are actually reading my blogs. Well, I have many actually.

I get really surprised  whenever I would open this blog and see the views or see others opening it. I haven’t really been here a long time because I am busier in my other blogs…

 Well if you want to read my other blogs you may visit my other accounts

Bloggerette

Frog Princess

 I am more active there because blogger is easier to use than calliope…

try visiting me sometimes and don’t forget to leave a message in my cbox…=)

Jeans Dilemma

Finding the right size of jeans is always a problem. No matter how trendy the jeans is, if it doesn’t fit you right it will never look right.

Finding the size that would fit me best is always a challenge.Of course, there are a lot of styles of jeans that you could choose from but you have also have to consider your body type before you go and purchase the latest in fashion.

I, of course, am in need of a new pair myself and am dying to have those branded jeans but with my body, it just won’t work. I especially like Levi’s, Guess, and Lee jeans but the sizes of levi’s jeans are too big for me and the one pair of Lee jeans that I have are too loose that it would simply fall if I don’t wear a belt.

Well, they say that loose fitting jeans will be “in” this year and I really do hope so because I look so miserable wearing my loose jeans side by side with those skinny jeans (which has become trendy in 2008). I would gladly wear a pair of really nice looking branded jeans but i guess i will have to contend myself with those cheap ones that easily fades because its the only one that could fit me perfectly. 

Poor Me!!!! 

A new PSP?Why not!

If somebody would ask me what I want to have for Christmas, I would definitely choose that new Sony PSP. I always wanted a PSP and there is this cute one I saw in Shopwiki. I wish somebody would give me one.Especially that one.

Anyway, I just found out that this ShopWiki is one place in the cyberworld where you can find the latest in everything, especially new gadgets which would make your eyes pop in envy.

Video games of every shapes and sizes would definitely make your mouth water. Among these gadgets, my favorite is that Sony 98510 PSP. 

“All in one portable entertainment experience”?…I definitely agree.

 Of course, I would also never say no to the Nintendo DS Lite. A handheld video game system which looks very much like a palm top to me.

*sigh*I wish Santa could read this one. Or maybe some really generous friend…*wink* whose wealthy enough to give me one.*wink*

"earning while doing nothing"???

They called me, Aruwana

For more than a month of staying in Davao del Norte for my On-the-Job training, I had experience things I never expected to experience before. I had been to the rebel infested mountains of Monkayo, into the jungles of Pantukan, Compostela Valley, seen the beauty of the famous Maragusan, hobnobbed with the richest and the poorest, ate with governors and mayors, shook the hands of famous political figures, joined a boodlefight with soldiers, got stranded in the cold mountain of Araibo, ComVal and fell in love with the beauty of Davao Oriental.

 I had been to the most beautiful and most remote places of Region XI, yet a memory stands out in my mind like a beacon in a dark night.

“If you have a choice, don’t go into journalism…”

A simple statement over breakfast that caught me off guard and left me confused. Hearing those words from a veteran journalist made me puzzled, but I am sure it was not meant as a joke.

To say the least, my trip to Mati, Davao Oriental is not the most exciting or the most adventurous among the many assignments I was given. I was there, with a senior reporter and five other journalists from Davao City, to attend the “Kapihan sa Kapitolyo”—a bimonthly press conference held by provinces in the region wherein serious issues are answered by government officials and concerned agencies of the government.

We stayed in Mati, the capital city of the province, for two days and one night even though the Kapihan only lasted for a few hours and Tagum City, where we were based, is only two hours away. The provincial government prepared a media tour for the group, and we eagerly and gladly accepted the offer. Who wouldn’t, if you would see the beautiful beaches of Mati, you won’t think twice.

Needless to say, we enjoyed our stay in the city with the unlimited food all charged to the provincial government and the scenic places we’ve been shown. But, the adventure is not the reason why the trip stood out in my mind, it was the priceless lessons I learned from the trip. Every time I would think of Davao Oriental, I would be reminded of its beautiful beaches, sweet breeze and the voice that keeps on repeating, “If you have a choice, don’t go into journalism…”

The people I was with are really good, especially Sir Dennis Santos—who calls me Aruwana, from the Philippine Daily Inquirer. They are accommodating enough and shares insights of their life as a journalist. For a student like me, they are intimidating with their knowledge and their experiences but they treated me like an equal, sharing their stories, their experiences, and insights and teased me that my name reminds them of a fish.

It was over breakfast on the second day that the statement that had lodged itself permanently in my mind was said. It all started when Sir Dennis asked me if being a journalist is what I really wanted to be, so I eagerly told him “yes!” From across the table, Sir Q, looked at me thoughtfully and said, “If you have a choice, don’t go into journalism…” I was puzzled, why would a veteran journalist-who has seen the best and worst side of the job would tell me that? In fact, even sir Dennis was bewildered.

Sir Q told me what my journalism instructors have always told me before; there is no money in journalism. He told me that those who are only after the money and the prestige of the job will never last. “Not everybody could become a journalist just because they want to. You have to be committed and determined enough to persevere” he said. They told me that the salary of a journalist is so small, that if you are after a luxurious life then journalism is not for you. He told me that though the job has its perks, it is a life of constant challenges.

Very well said! I learned a lot of things from the short time that I was with them than the whole time I spent inside the classroom. They gave me a challenge and a chance to evaluate what I really want to become. Am I ready to become a journalist? Do I have what it takes or am I only after the prestige and the perks of the job?

After breakfast Sir Dennis told me, “Aruwana, if you are committed to become a journalist then you have to be ready to take the challenge.”

And you bet sir, I will!

Education and the Life of Juan de la Cruz

Education, as they say, is the great equalizer.  It is an avenue where the rich and the poor, big and small become equal. The words of the wise tells us that education is our key to success; the poor man’s passport to a prosperous life.
Education has always played a significant part in the Filipino culture. It has always been inculcated in every Juan de la Cruz that education is an important tool to success. It is always believed that the higher the educational attainment, the more likely that the person would become successful. As a result, parents are willing to sacrifice everything to send a child to the best school they could afford to pay and students strive hard to attain a degree.

In recent years, the soaring cost of education has caused a lot of students to drop-out of school and work instead. As a result, what was once a right enjoyed by every Filipino has now become a privilege, wherein only those who can afford to support a college education or were lucky enough to get a scholarship could get a degree.

The government may not consider it a crisis but the sky-rocketing prices of goods and basic commodities means calamity to the poor Juan de la Cruz who depends everything on his meager income. Like a domino effect, these increases affects all sectors in the society–including the educational sector. With every increase, Juan de la Cruz allots less and less amount for education as he has to prioritize his family’s basic needs more than the schooling of his children.

As this predicament slowly eats the sanity of every Filipino, more and more students opt to stop schooling and choose to work instead. Instead of working to get a degree, these students are now working, oftentimes, in call centers or any other companies who would accept undergraduates in their company.

We cannot blame these students for opting to work because some of them were not given the option to choose otherwise; they have to help support their families especially that their household income is no longer enough to support the entire family. This is a trend that will persist as the economy continues to decline.

No matter how many times the government insists that the economy of the country is growing, it will be hard for ordinary Filipinos to believe it because they are experiencing the exact opposite of this so-called development. Juan de la Cruz is suffering and this is evident in various aspects of his life.

What is more painful is the fact that despite the increase in prices of almost everything—from rice, to fuel, to fare—wages remain the same. “Tightening the belt,” is what every Filipinos reaction to the surge of increases that suddenly made its way into their budgets. This tightening would mean cutting off any important-but-not-urgent expenses in the family budget. Oftentimes, the family would choose to sacrifice the schooling of the children, especially those in college, to minimize expenses.

Although some would argue that getting a degree is not really the basis for success, it would still be practical to have a degree. In a world where competition is fierce, your degree serves as your weapon. Yes, having the skill and the experience is a plus but having a degree is a bonus that could secure your way to the top.

The education sector is just one among the many victims of the declining economy. As prices continue to soar, the value given to education continues to diminish. Ordinary citizens, such as us, do not really have control over the economy and the policies that governs it. We can only voice our opinion, complain and hope that the people in power would hear our tiny voices and do something about it.

But is this enough? Probably not; activists has been protesting in the streets for so long now and things are still the same. What the country needs right now is cooperation between the government and the people. The Filipino people have already proved to the world that they can overcome even the hardest hurdles when they are united. This is what the country desperately needs right now, unity against poverty.

No matter how big the problem is, the Philippines and Juan de la Cruz will survive if everybody will cooperate and act as one in the fight against poverty and the root of all these problems—corruption. As citizens of this country, we have to do something now because if the economy of our country continues to decline, education—which has become a privilege to the rich—will no longer be an option to the poor.

1 message received: SMS quotations that inspires [and expires]

This is a collection of text messages from my friends.]
–“They say…

waiting is a way to test your patience…

but don’t they realize that life is short?
though patience is a virtue,
Still, TIME IS GOLD.”

*from Leslie

–“To be old and wise,
You must first be young and stupid…”
*From Cathy

–“When you feel like quitting,
ask this question,

did God stopped doing good in my life?

if not…

why give up?”
*from Leslie

–“10 ways to love people
…true and biblical…

1.listen without interrupting. (Prov. 18)
2.speak without accusing.(James 1:19)
3.give without sparing (Prov. 21:26)
4. pray without ceasing (Col. 1:9)
5. Answer without arguing (Prov. 17:1)
6. Share without pretending.(Ephesians 4:15)
7. enjoy without complaint (Philippians 2:14)
8. trust without wavering. (Corinthians 13:7)
9. forgive without punishing. (Col 3:13)
10. promise without forgetting. (Prov. 13:12)
*From Hannah

--” Don’t always say,
“there is still time”

coz there is also the concept of
“its too late.”
*from Leslie

–“God
will
never
leave
you
empty.
He will
always replace
watever
uv lost
If he asks you
2 put
somthing down
its
bcoz
He
wants u
2 pick something better…”
*From Kuya Harvey

–”its hard to let go of someone who has touched your life
but it hurts more to say gudbye to someone when he was never urs yet changed your life the most…”
*from Rizalala

–”there are times that we experience the downfall of our lives.

Seeing how cruel the people
and demented the people
around us can be.

But that shouldn’t stop us from realizing that
evry passing minute s
is another chance to turn our lives around

Life always has a better flipside
and its never 2 late to toss the coin again…”
*from Cathy

–”if your friend is too frank
that what he/she says
hurts you,

don’t get mad…

Coz donkey once told shrek:
“Only true friends can be cruelly honest”
*from Leslie

–”The sand taught me 1 thing:
you can’t hold too many things no matter what you do to make them stay
and no matter how much they want to stay, the wind will always blow them away.
So learn to let go and choose carefully which you want to stay
because like the sand, only those which are at the center of your palm will last…”
*from Leslie

–”The person you love the most
has the capacity to make you the happiest
person in the world
and may give you everything…


including the worst
heartache you can never imagine…”
*from Leslie

--”Did you know that the darkest time of the day is the minute
before the sunrise? So when you feel that you are at the
darkest moment of your life
remember that sunrise is just a minute away…”
*from Rodgie

--” As much as you want to plan your life, it has a way of surprising you
with unexpected things that will make you happier than you originally planned..’
*from Cathy

--”Sometimes you have to let your feeling flow for someone,

to burn the crazy feelings you have with your stupid past…”
*from Leslie

–”Unexpressed feelings will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways…
-Sigmund Freud”

*from Marvin

–”life is never about the people who act true in front of you
It is always about the people who remain true behind your back”
*From Leslie

–“We always ask
if there is still hope left
or if there is still time.

but
we never realize that
HOPE
leaves when we doubt it
and
TIME
only runs out
the moment we give up”
* From Ritchelle Mae

–”sometimes we search so much for the right choices.
For the right paths to walk through. For the right time,
for the person and for the right reason…

only to find out…


nsa left pala…Badtrip!”
*from Kuya Harvey

–”If you are humble,
nothing will touch you
neither praise nor disgrace
because you know what and who you are.
Remember that HUMILITY is the only virtue
the devil cannot imitate”
*from Kuya Harvey

–”Life is like posing for pictures.
We pose the way we want to be seen by others
but stolen shots are better
they capture who we really are”
*from Kuya Harvey

–” we cry when our hearts
couldn’t hide the pain anymore…
that’s not a weakness.
It actually heals the wound
that laughter can’t cure.”
* from Tito Daniel

–”Thoughts to live by:
we are not supposed to be perfect. If we are, they will not make
pencils with erasers.”
*from Bryan

It’s nice to be back…

First of all, I would like to thank all those who viewed, commented and left messages on this blog even if I was not able to update this for so long now. Thank you so much…

 Yes, I am now officially back! After a year of hibernation I came back to ressurect this blog.

I don’t most of you who visits here but i do hope my posts helps you in whatever way it can…

To those who requested for more ilonggo-cebuano words…I will do my best to produce another batch of it. When I first posted it here, I never thought it would become a favorite…[hahahahha] I was bored and have nothing to do with my life at that moment and I know I wasn’t making any sense at all…but hey! It worked!

To dane: I will try posting about radio broadcasting here, however, I have a different blog which deals solely with all-things journalism. In the upper right corner of my page you can find there the “BLOGS” link, try clicking it and you will find a link there which will direct you to my other blog “The Publisher”…I will do my best to post your request there…

Thanks again guys and galz!!!! 

3rd year and still in the dark

Three years in Mass Communcation and I'm still groping in the dark. I still can't decide which area I would like to focus on. In fact, I'm still not sure if I made the right decision in choosing my course. Am I in the right path? Only a year left and I'm still blind. Journalism is my strength, but do I really want to be a journalist? Do I really want to be in this course?

I have come a long way already. One more year and I'm done. But will I get any satisfaction when I graduate?Honestly, I don't know.  I am getting more and more interested in criminal sciences and other courses, yet I think I still love this course. I am excelling in this course. I gues it's one of the reasons why I can't seem to get a satisfaction here. It does not give me the challenge that I am looking for. Sure, it is challenging to beat deadline after deadline and pass articles on time. It is challenging to interview big wigs and people that you never thought you would be able to talk to, but that's not what I am looking for.

I kind of like the challenge of investigating and chasing crooks. I am not an aspiring Nancy Drew but I guess Law Enforcement is a thrilling career. Of course, I do understand that being interested is not enough. I laso think that talking to mentally disturbed people is exciting. I mean, human behavior is interesting so I guess Psychology is also an interesting course. But what about Aeronautics?I guess flying planes are fun. Ohhh, architecture. I really think archi students are cool, especially with their T-squares.

My reasons are not enough to make me stay in a course. I guess I'm just a person without a sense of direction. Because if i have, I wouldn't be groping in the dark now.