so bad

I already expected, even before i took the exam that i wouldnt do well.I managed to answer some questions but im not satisfied with my performance.

And who do you think im suppose to blame?

I knew, even before the start of the examination week that i will have a hard time in this subject because i already missed alot of lessons and i dont have the required photocopies.

I'm just too good for my own self, procastinator and assuming that i always end up compromising even my grades.

I should have studied well knowing that the last two subjects are quite hard compared to the others and the last two subjects are the ones where im always absent or if not, asleep.

But what did i do?

Nothing!

I slept during the weekend when im suppose to be studying.

I didnt attend the last two meeting for my Philosophy class and I didnt show up in my math class for the whole week even if i knew so well that the last week is the most important of all because instructors will be giving their pointers and reviews.

I was just to stubborn to report in class, always managing to find excuses even if i know too well that i should go there no matter what.

This semester has been a "low" for me.Though i got high scores and grades for the past midterm exams, and though I am aware that I already got high grades in my subjects, am not satisfied with my performance and i am not completely and totally and infact not at all pleased with myself.

I had become a sluggard.Preferring to sleep and eat than go to school.Preferring to watch movies when im suppose to be studying.

Im not like this before.I dont know whats happening but i know there is something wrong with me."WRONG" as in wrong in quotation marks,bold letters caps lock and underlined!And this something has to change if i want to finish my course.This something has to be eradicated before it finally swallows me whole and send me direct to hell. i dont want to wake up and find my self without anything.I am already far from my dream, but im a step closer to the alternative that i chose.

If i continue being like this, what will happen to me?I passed my projects late already and i still havent complied with my other requirements yet, even though i have all the damned time in the world.

I will be the one to suffer and i surely know that. I know and i knew.i always do.I always seemed to forget that i am resolve to do something and instead do the things that should'nt be. I always forget to cross the bridge no matter how many times ive been there.Deadlines for me has become deader and deadier and deadiest (if only this words really exist)and has finally reached the deadliest stage that it nearly explode and shattered my dream of surviving this semester.

I messed everything.i messed my objective when i chose to submit myself to my wants rather than my needs.I prioritized wrong things and i ruined my every chances in getting into that "list"..

how can i be there when i wont attend my classes?Even if i got high grades in otehr subjects my math will always be the "hindrance", and im not yet sure if i could manage to pull my philosophy grade.Never mind my other subjects, those two are the only ones where i always find myself tired.

I dont know what will happen.I dread seeing my grades.I just hope time will stop and return to the week after the midterm where everything started.Where i got too confident with my grades and the easiness of the exams.

But life doesnt go that way. It never will.

17 years 9 months

yeah, maybe im stupid for thinking that every month i have to celebrate my birthday.Maybe im a bit weird for thinking that my "monthly birthday" is much important than my originl bday.
i love thinking that every month i am given the chance to experience life, to breathe, to feel, to be human.
Isnt it nice to celebrate your birthday every month?…
i mean, just for that one special day you gotta treat yourself with all the nicest things you can think of.
Its really nice. eating the most delicious foods you want, or maybe treating yourself with your favorite ice cream flavor, or maybe go somewhere peaceful…its quiet satisfying and enjoying.
It even makes you think that despite of everything else, for that one particular day, life is still worth living.

hayyy

DOES LOVE EXIST?

"i never know what love is…"

ang buhay kong blak and wayt

ang buhay ko lagi na lang blak and wayt.
alam mo ba kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng buhay na blak at wayt?
simple lang naman yun eh..

as in blak and wayt talaga!

THE DIFFERENCE

so what could be the difference between ilonggo and hiligaynon?and why i dont want to call myself ilongga…
simple.
Ilonggo is a person,a native of iloilo.
Hiligaynon, is our dialect.
the common denominator for all provinces of western visayas.
but, i am not an ilongga (technically) because, though i speak in hiligaynon, i came from negros occidental, therefore i am a hiligaynon speaking negrense and not an ilongga.
people calls us ilongga/ilonggo bcoz we speak the same dialect as those from the panay island.

clear???

1 DOWN…!!!

since yesterday, ive been surprised by unexpected turn of events.
quizzes that turned into final exams, and ordinary discussion into long exams…

ROCK ON!!!!

ANG ESTUDYANTENG TAMAD

Oo, aaminin ko may kasalanan ako.
tamad ako.Antukin.
absent na naman ako kanina, syempre kasi tinalo ako ng antok ko.
hindi ko kinaya eh.
hanggang nagaun di pa ako kumakain kasi tamad akong lumabas.
umuulan na naman kasi, nakaka-gutom pero nakaka tamad din at nakaka antok.
ang project ko hindi naipasa.
hayy,sige mamaya na lang pag hindina ako tinatamad.

MY SONG

Michael Bolton
All That Matters (1997)
Go The Distance

I have often dreamed, of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome, would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying, this is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, if I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile, will be worth my while
When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong
Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years, would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back, I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track, no, I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face its' harms
I don't care how far, I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
I will search the world, I will face its harms
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms

i like this song because it tells about a dreamer who believes that someday he will reach his goals and realize his dreams.

umaga na!!!!

yup!its morning already and im so sleepy!!!
i wanna go home and sleep but the rain is heavy.
oh gosh!i still have a class at 8:30.
should i attend or not?
if i would report in class today,
im so sleepy anmd im sure i would only be sleeping in class.
On the other hand, i was already absent last meeting, its our final exam next week and i dont have any idea what i would be facing and how am i going to pass my project if i wont go there?
I dont know if i could manage going to class today im just so sleepy.
I still have a pre-final exam this afternoon at 5:30 and i havent studied yet.I dont know how to study without my eyes closing.

hay, bahala na si batman!
pag di nadala sa stock knowledge, e di…anu pa nga ba e di….
subukan natin ang power of prayer!

its 3 am…

its 3 am.
..but im still awake.A result over procastination.A punishment for being so over confident of the deadline.

ilonggo-cebuano:magkaintindihan nga tayo!!!!

Now you'll know why for ilonggos, visayans are funny.

(NOTE:this article is written not to mock cebunos nor to insult them.If you have comments or you want to add something,feel free to post it.)

ka-dramahan

 here's a song i like (bcoz i can relate to) and what it means to me:

FRIEND OF MINE
"I've known you for so long
You are a friend of mine
But is this all we'd ever be?
I've loved you ever since
You are a friend of mine
But babe, is this all we ever could be? "

…oh yeah!I've known him for so long now and he is a friend of mine. God knows how much i wish we were more than that…

"You tell me things i've never known
I've shown you love you've never shown
But then again, when you cry
I'm always at your side
You tell me 'bout the love you've had
I listen very eagerly
But deep inside you'll never see
This feeling of emptiness
It makes me feel sad
But then again i'm glad "

…he tells me his secrets.His pains, his problems, everything…except his heart.

"I've known you all my life
You are a friend of mine
I know this is how it's gonna be
I've loved you then and i love you still
You're a friend of mine
Now, i know friends are all we ever could be"

..oh yes..it indeed seemed forever. But then i know..this is all we ever could be.

FINAL BLUES

final exams are fast approaching and every seemed to be so busy accomplishing deadlines and completing projects. Well, im one of them. As usual regretting the times ive wasted by procastinating, but at least i was able to finish everything.I just hope i would survive the examimantion week.

stop,look and listen

Stop!
just sit there for awhile.Think!yes, think, i know you dont want to.But you know you have to.Think about the things you've done to me.Do you still remember? the things you said? the insults i suffered? Now ask yourelf, are you worthy to expect anything from me? Are you worthy to demand that i do your  bidding? Are you even worthy to talk to me?

Oh com'on! Learn to wake up bitch!Your no longer the princess.Your no longer the ruler of the whole damned world. Most of all, im not your servant. Ive never been and i'll never want to be.
Wake up and see the truth!
your as stupid as the duck that stuck itself in a pig's butt!

LIFE OF A STUDENT JOURNALIST

PROBABLY THE BEST THING ABOUT BEING A STUDENT JOURNLIST, ASIDE FROM BEING THE FIRST ONE TO RECEIVE THE LATEST SCHOOL ISSUES,IS THE EXCITING LIFE IT GUARANTEES.

I AM A STUDENT JOURNALIST. MY LIFE IS DIFFERENT FROM THE REST. I LIVE A LIFE HATED BY SOME, ADMIRED BY OTHERS AND IGNORED BY MOST. I DONT REGRET FOR BEING WHAT I AM. MY LIFE IS A CHALLENGE, AND EVERY DAY THAT PASS IS AN OBSTACLE TO HURDLE.