I made it!..and with a bonus!!!

I am now a full pledge student journalist. I am no longer a trainee, but that deosnt mean that i'll be somebody already. I'll always be the same person that i was. Well, maybe i'll mature a little, in my writing, in my attitude in the paper, maybe in some aspects but i'll still be the same person i used to be.

This is probably one of the happiest day of my life. All my sacrifices paid off. I was awarded as Editors Choice (among the trainess)during the seminar, plus i got 3rd place in 2 categories..(though i also wonder how i landed in those places when i'm really sure my articles won't make it) and the best bonus…I sat beside my crush tonight..hahaha! Isn't it nice?When all along i was expecting this night to be full of tears, here i am barely unable to control my happiness.Oh God if only i could shout here and jump..(which i practically did when it was announced that all trainees were retained)

I know i wasn't just lucky for getting the slot. I did my best, that's why im so happy when the result was announced. I sacrificed alot. I had been (not totally pero parang ganun na rin) harrased, barraged with questions, hated, gained enemies, and suffered so many things just to prove that i am worthy to be part of the paper.

Now i believe, perseverance and dedication can really take you far.

The Omen/Judgement day…my version…

i don't know if today is destined to be any good.just a few minutes aftr waking up, i already spilled the ink on the office table and on myself…My hands are literally bathing with ink and i cant take it off.

Could this be an omen of an iminent doom awaiting for me this evening?today the staff will decide who among the trainees will remain in the school paper. I did my best, but the deciscion still resides on the staff.I do acknowledge the fact that the best i gave may not look like the best for the staff. Though it's a little bit scary and sure it would be depressing not to make it, but i am still thankful that i knew this people, that even for a short time i was able to fulfill my dream of joining the paper. They are bunch of unique individuals and the kind opf acceptance they gave me is something that i would really miss. I enjoyed this semester, with all the challenges it gave me, i was able to get a bird's eyeview of a true journalists life. I experienced how press freedom is being opressed, how we are opressed. I experienced facing different people with different attitudes and strong personalities.

 The challenges and the memories that this office gave me will forever remain in my heart. I did not only learn how to become a better student journalist, i had become a different person. I learned a lot and i enjoyed, and i think above all else, that's what matters most. I had become stronger and learned how to deal with people, be they somebody or just anybody.

I especially love the way these people accepted me. No but's, no if's. They accepted me as i am, with all my perks and bitchiness. They accept each other as unique individuals. It is only here where you can be bitchy without being criticized. It is only here where weirdness is normal and normal is weird. It is the only place in school, or probably the "whole wide starry universe", where being barraged and harassed is something to laugh about. Where meetings are activities of fun and learning, pressure and pleasure. Probably the only organization whith free snacks and free everything.

i will miss this people. BUt i won't cry,because i really enjoyed the times i was with them.

With this morning's happenings i am not expecting anything good to come. I had been bracing myself for this. As Hagrid would have said in Harry potter and the goblet of fire..

"Whatever's coming let it come, we will face it.."

I guess that summarized what i have to say. Whatever will happen tonight, i will accept it with all my heart. Anyway, i could still audition next semester, or probably, next year right?…There is still tomorrow,then there is still hope.

hey, why am i fussing like this?am i scared?probably.Anxious?possibly.

huh! i guess i won't have any choice but to face tonight's ordeal. And i hope i will survive.

*************end***************

Fetching comments…

Admittedly, everytime i open my account i always look if there are new comments or messages waiting for me for. Most of the time i get disappointed in not finding one.

I'm not what you would call, "kulang sa pansin". It's just that, it feels good to know that somebody appreciates what you are doing. It really feels good to hear somebody commenting you positively, and its even nice to read some constructive criticisms. Though criticisms may hurt, its nice to know that at least the person took the time to read what you wrote. Perhaps, it is a writers greatest joy just knowing that somebody reads what they are writing, after all what good will it be to write if there is nobody to read.

Of course i want to know what people has to say with regards to what i'm writing. I want to know what they felt about it, i want them to tell me if its good or not or what i can do to improve it. that's what i like about constructive criticisms, it allows youn to improve if only you would accept it positively.

But as of now, i havent got so many comments yet.

I hope one of this days I could get one. And i know it would help me improve…

Who would have thought?

  Who would have thought that i was just like this before?Who would have thought that from a struggling embryo i would grow up to be a student writer and a future journalist?

Isn't it amazing that from a single egg and a sperm, a creature such the one on this picture ios created? Isn't God amazing? Isn't it amazingt to think that before i was just a dot, that eventually develop into an embryointo a helpless fetus, and now, what am i? A 17 year old Homo sapien.

God is simply amazing to design all of this. Thinking about it i can't help but wonder and be amaze how a helpless creature such as i could survive in a world like this.

And this is something I would always be thankful for….

PONDERISM…FROM ZENHEX

>>
>>
>>*I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned
>>that most people die of natural causes.
>>
>>
>>*Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make
>>sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant
>>is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground
>>easily, it is a valuable plant.
>>
>>
>>*The easiest way to find something lost around the
>>house is to buy a replacement.
>>
>>
>>*Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive
>>anyway.
>>
>>
>>*There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the
>>dead.
>>
>>
>>*Life is sexually transmitted.
>>
>>
>>*Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which
>>one can die.
>>
>>
>>*The only difference between a rut and a grave is the
>>depth.
>>
>>
>>*Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for
>>anything, but you still can't help but smile when you
>>see one tumble down the stairs.
>>
>>
>>*Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying
>>in hospitals dying of nothing.
>>
>>
>>*Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these
>>days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
>>
>>
>>*Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
>>
>>
>>*All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It
>>pays no attention to criticism.
>>
>>
>>*In the 60's, people took acid to make the world
>>weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac
>>to make it normal.
>>
>>
>>*Politics is supposed to be the second oldest
>>profession. I have come to realize that it bears a
>>very close resemblance to the first.
>>
>>
>>*How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,
>>but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
>>
>>
>>*Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I
>>think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink
>> whatever comes out?"
>>
>>
>>*Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the
>>freezer?
>>
>>
>>*If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a
>>song about him?
>>
>>
>>*Why do people point to their wrist when asking for
>>the time, but don't point to their crotch when they
>>ask where the bathroom is?
>>
>>
>>*Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get
>>undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
>>
>>
>>*Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all
>>fours? They're both dogs!
>>
>>
>>*If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that
>>Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
>>
>>
>>*If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
>>
>>
>>*If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is
>>made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
>>
>>
>>*If electricity comes from electrons, does morality
>>come from morons?
>>
>>
>>*Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little
>>Star have the same tune?
>>
>>
>>*Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet
>>Soup?
>>
>>
>>*Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
>>face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a
>>car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
>>
>>
>>*Does pushing the elevator button more than once make
>>it arrive faster?
>>
>>
>>*Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

evidence why cats are better than dogs!

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

Day 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Day 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair…must try this on their bed.

Day 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was…Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

Day 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

Day 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

Day 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time…

My Top 5 Crush 1st semester SY 2006-2007

TOP 5 CRUSH

(as of 1st Semester of SY 2006-2007)

1. And Komander (sori di pwede ma mention ang name…next time na lang pag wala na akong RO..*wink*)

rating: Mr. Nice guy- 10star (dapat talaga 100eh)for his butt (best asset ni sir!), 10 star for his character, 10 star for his authority,10 star for smiling at me,5 star for his charisma,5 star for his eyes, minus 100 for his girlfriend!

evaluation: The first thing that you would notice from him is his "BUTT",then his loud booming and authoritative voice that fits his position as Wing Com. He performs his duties both as an officer and as a criminology stuent. he exemplifies the image of a true gentleman, even a soldier. he is vcery accomodating during interviews, he may look serious but he's really approachable and funny. As i observe him for the past five months, i decided that he could pass for my next semester selection…will he retain the spot?watch out!

2.Ang Tac-O (di rin daw pwede ipost ang name eh..kaya itago na lang natin s sa pangalang "luigi folio"…harharhar..da worst!)clue:1.friend and neighbor ni yowh

rating: The punisher-5 star for the smile,4 star 4 the eyes, 10star for the character…minus 1000 kasi pinag bridge niya ako!

evaluation: Sir luigi is approachable, unlike the wing com, he gives off an aura of pleasantness.he has a ready smile for everybody, very religious, but a really strict officer. I'm not yet sure if he would pass for the 2nd semester selection but i'll give him the benefit… i wont erase him from my list of crushes…

3.Gatemate/And Tac-o #2 (agen…itago natin sa pangalang Efren..shhhh..wag maingay katay ako pag nalaman nila)

rating: Smiley Central- 10 star for the ver ready and reliable smile, 10 points for being silent and no minus points.

evaluation: Sir efren is, admittedly, attractive only on slected occasions.Hehehehe..there are times that he doesn't really look good, but he is when he's on uniform. Despite of that, he has a charm emanating from his very attractive smile.

4.Dante de los reyes…(2006 criminilogy licensure examination passer,classmate ko sa sociology last sem,dating officer din,snob,suplado,cute,and cute)

rating:The challenge/ the snob-10 star for being snappy,8 star for being responsible, 5 star for personality,5 star for physical, minus 1 milliion sa pag snob niya sakin.

evaluation: Dante is the typical snob, kumbaga in TN lingo…"feeler" siya, but he is responsible and intelligent. Aside from the fact that he is really good looking, I was attracted by his personality. he is good looking and he knows it. He's not vain, but he gives an aura of superiority. he seemed to have a dictatorial attitude. i used to comepete with him in class, that is why Iwould never forget him because i got a swooshing 1.50 becasue of him. His "pagka snobero" challenged me before, even until now. he is a little bit mysterious, and his character seemed to say that there is something behind his physical appearance.

5.Joey Melon (frend ni kuya carl, sillimanian,physics and math teacher namin nung high school..hehehe)

rating: the boy next classroom- 1million points! the best teacher!

evaluation: Sir Melon is the boyish, perpetually student-looking intsructor. He easily smiles, laughs and loves to talk about so many things, aside form his physics and math knowledge. His intelligence in mathematics is the very reason why i got attracted at him. he's nice and really approachable.

THERE IS MORE TO COME….hehehehe!

Song lyrics #8: Boulevard of broken dreams

Boulevard of a Broken Dreams
Greenday

"boulevard of broken dreams"
Greenday

I walk a lonely road
The only one that i have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and i walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And i'm the only one and i walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a…

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes i wish someone out there will find me
'til then i walk alone

Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where i walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know i'm still alive and i walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a…

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes i wish someone out there will find me
'til then i walk alone

Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, aaah-ah
Ah-ah, ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a…

I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And i'm the only one and i walk a…

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes i wish someone out there will find me
'til then i walk alone…

Song lyrics#7: Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life
By simple plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
But deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

No one ever lies straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think i'm happy
But i'm not gonna be ok

Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life

Song lyrics#6: You change my life in a moment

You Changed My Life In A Moment
Raymond Manalo

The nights the sky was filled with clouds
My worried mind was filled with fear
I couldn't count all the lonely hours
Spent with memories and tears

I never thought i would see the day
When i could throw all my sorrow away
But then you came and you showed me the way
You have made all those times disappear

Chorus:
You changed my life in a moment
And i'll never be the same again
You changed my life in a moment
And it's hard for me to understand
With the touch of your hand in a moment in time
All my sorrow is gone (is gone…is gone…is gone…)

I never thought that i could change
Could change so much in so many ways
I'm still surprised when i look in my mirror
To see that i still look the same

Chorus:
You changed my life in a moment
And i'll never be the same again
You changed my life in a moment
And it's hard for me to understand
With the touch of your hand in a moment in time
All my sorrow is gone

(you changed my life in a moment)
You changed my life
(and i'll never be the same again)
I'll never be the same
You changed my life in a moment
And it's hard for me to understand
With the touch of your hand in a moment in time
All my sorrow is gone

(you changed my life in a moment)
Gone…gone..
In a moment in time
All my sorrow is gone…

Song lyrics#5: you raise me up

You Raised Me Up
Josh Groban

When i am down, and oh my soul so weary
When troubles come, and my heart burdened be
Then i am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up so i can stand on mountains.
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.
I am strong when i am on your shoulders.
You raise me up to more than i can be.

You raise me up so i can stand on mountains.
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.
I am strong when i am on your shoulders.
You raise me up to more than i can be.

(enter choir in background)

You raise me up so i can stand on mountains.
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.
I am strong when i am on your shoulders.
You raise me up to more than i can be.

You raise me up so i can stand on mountains!
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas!
I am strong when i am on your shoulders.
You raise me up to more than i can be.

You raise me up to more than i can be.

Song lyrics #4: A Thousand Miles

a Thousand Miles
Vanesse Carlton

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces passed
And i´m home bound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way

Making my way
Through the crowd
And i need you
And i miss you
And now i wonder….

If i could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
´cause you know i´d walk
A thousand miles
If i could
Just see you…
Tonight

It´s always times like these
When i think of you
And i wonder
If you ever
Think of me
´cause everything´s so wrong
And i don´t belong
Living in your
Precious memories

´cause i need you
And i miss you
And now i wonder….

If i could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
´cause you know i´d walk
A thousand miles
If i could
Just see you…
Tonight

And i, i
Don´t want to let you know
I, i
Drown in your memory
I, i
Don´t want to let this go
I, i
Don´t….

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces passed
And i´m home bound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd

And i still need you
And i still miss you
And now i wonder….

If i could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass us by
´cause you know i´d walk
A thousand miles
If i could
Just see you…

If i could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
´cause you know i´d walk
A thousand miles

If i could
Just see you…
If i could
Just hold you
Tonight

Song Lyrics#3: How could an angel break my heart

How Could An Angel Break My Heart
Toni Braxton

How could an angel break my heart ? (toni braxton)

I heard he sang a lullaby
I heard he sang it from his heart
When i found out thought i would die
Because that lullaby was mine
I heard he sealed it with a kiss
He gently kissed her cherry lips
I found that so hard to believe
Because his kiss belonged to me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish i didn't wish so hard
Maybe i wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

I heard here face was white as rain
Soft as a rose that blooms in may
He keeps her picture in a frame
And when he sleeps he calls her name
I wonder if she makes him smile
The way he used to smile at me
I hope she doesn't make him laugh
Because his laugh belongs to me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch may falling star
I wish i didn't wish so hard
Maybe i wish our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

Oh my soul is dying, it's crying
I'm trying to understand
Please help me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish i didn't wish so hard
Maybe i wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

Song lyrics#2: Perfect

Simple Plan
Perfect

 Hey dad look at me 

Think back and talk to me 

Did I grow up according to plan? 

Do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do? 

'Cuz it hurst when you disapprove all doing  

And now I try hard to make it 

I just want to make you proud 

I'm never gonna be good enough for you 

I can't pretend that I'm alright 

And you can't change me  

'Cuz we lost it all  

Nothing lasts forever I'm sorry  

I can't be perfect 

Now it's just too late and

We can't go back I'm sorry  

I can't be perfect  

I try not to think 

About the pain I feel inside 

Did you know you used to be my hero? 

All the days you spend with me 

Now seem so far away 

it feels like you don't care anymore  

And now I try hard to make it  

I just want to make you proud  

I'm never gonna be good enough for you

 I can't stand another fight 

And nothing's alright  

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said

 Nothing's gonna make this right again 

Please don't turn your back 

I can't believe it's hard 

Just to talk to you 

'Cuz you don't understand  

THE PERFECT ACCIDENT

take time and read this

IT'S 7TH GRADE…

I stared at the girl next to me… She was my so called "best friend"… I stared at her… Long, silky hair… And I wished she was mine… But she didn't notice me like that… I knew it… After class she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before… And I handed them to her… She said "thanks"… And gave me a kiss on the cheek… I wanted to tell her… I want her to know that I don't want to be "just friends"… I love her but I'm too shy to tell her… And I don't know why…

IT'S JUNIOR YEAR…

My phone rang… On the other end it was her… She was in tears… Mumbling on and on about how her love had broken her heart… She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone… So I did… As I sat next to her on the sofa… I stared at her soft eyes… Wishing she was mine… After 2 hours… A Drew Barrymore movie… And 3 bags of chips… She decided to go to sleep… She looked at me.. Said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek… I wanted to tell her… I want her to know… That I don't want to be "just friends"… I love her but I'm too shy to tell her… And I don't know why…

IT'S SENIOR YEAR…

The day before prom… She walked to my locker… "My date is sick" she said… He's not going to go… Well… I didn't have a date and in 7th grade… We made a promise that if neiter of us had dates… We'd go together just as "best friends"… And so we did…

IT'S PROM NIGHT…

After everything was over with… I was standing at her front door step… I stared at her … She smiled at me… I wanted her to be mine… But she doesn't think of me like that… And I know it… Then she said "I had the best time… Thanks!"… And she gave me a kiss on the cheek… I wanted to telll her… I wanted her to know that I don't want to be "just friends"… I love her but I'm just too shy… And I don't know why…

IT'S GRADUATION DAY…

A day passed… And then a week… And then a month… Before I could blink… It was graduation day… I watched her… Perfect body… Floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma… I wanted her to be mine… But she doesn't think of me that way… And I know it… Before everyone went home… She came to me in her smock and hat… And cried as I hugged her… Then she lifted her head from my shoulders and said "you're my best friend"… "Thanks!"… And gave me a kiss on the cheek… I wanted to tell her.. I wanted to know that I wanted to be more than "just friends"… I love her but I'm too shy… And I don't know why…

IT'S A FEW YEARS LATER…

Now I sit in the pews of the church… A church that she is getting married in now… I watched her say "I do" an drive off to her new life… Married to another man… I wanted her to be mine… But she didn't see me like that… And I knew it… But before she drove away… She came to me and said "You came!… Thanks!"… And she kissed me on the cheek… I wanted to tell her… I wantd her to know that I didn't want to be "just friends"… I love her but I'm just too shy… And I don't know why…

YEARS PASSED…

I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend"… At the service they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years… This is what it said… "I stare at him… Wishing he was mine… But he doesn't notice me like that… And I know it… I wanted to tell him… I wanted him to know… That I don't want to be "just friends"… I love him but I'm just too shy… And I don't know why… I wish he would tell me he loved me"… I wish I did too… I thought to myself and I cried…

A song so special…

peeps, listen to this song..
its Micheal Bolton's Go the distance, theme song of Hercules..
if you wanna sing along there is a lyrics somewhere in my blog…

chocolata

Aside from sleeping, im really addicted to chocolates!So guys, heres one large,delicious chocolate i wanna share with all of you!

pillows,insomnia and the likes

The idea of staying awake without doing anything is a torture to a soul who simply treasure the idea of sleeping. The idea of sitting in a corner or lying alone in the dark waiting for sleep to come or being reminded of the wrongs and the faults is a punishment to somebody whosimply wants to close her eyes and feel the bliss of sleep.

According to garfield, "sleep is the most exciting of all activities."

Which is actually right!

i always get excited at the prospect of lying on my bed,covered by a blanket and hugging my pillow. I had always love the night, the comfort it provides, the coolness of my pillows, the warmth of my blanket, the gentle breeze, everything!

But that was before insomnia ruined my life. It's not that bad if i have something to do (like what im doing now) but if i would just lay in the dark alone,waiting for either sleep to come or the sun to rise, its totally annoying!

I do wish i could overcome it. i always think that i dont get enough sleep, and im actually yearning for it. I always think of my bed and my pillow even during my waking hours.I guess im just totally addicted to it that even if im in the middle of a classroom discussion or even just walking in a side walk,i would remember my bed and crave the comfort it gives me.

i love my pillow so much that it has become an integral part of me.When im down,sad,depressed, or just feeling low, i hug my pillow. Even when im happy,excited , or just simply boredi hug my pillow. I always bring it with me wherever i go, even when my parents brought me to the hospital im still hugging my pillow. it has been with me whereever i go or whatever situation im in. If only i could bring that to schooli surely will.

But ever since insomnia struck my life, i never spent much time with my pillow again. before i spent most of my free time hugging it, now, I could only hug it for 5 to 6 hours, sometimes even less.

Even right now i'm missing my pillow. just the thought of it makes me wanna hug it…

In a few hours ill be with my pillow,in a few hours ill be hugging it, in a few hours we'll be together.It doesnt matter if only for a couple of hours, what matters is i was able to hug it.

The magic that was never mine…

they say there is a magic called "love". It can heal the deepest wounds, cross barriers, weaken even the strogest and fiercest warriors and kings. I had heard of this magic so many times that i was curious if its real. ive been seeking, Ive crossed mountains and seas just to find it. I've met alot of people testifying that the magic is real.

Ive been looking everywhere. From the eyes of the people i met, from the songs i hear, from the poems and stories i read, from everything. From the sun to the stars, from the biggest to the smallest things i see.

I gaze at the moon at night hoping to witness the magic, but nothing came of it.
I count the stars hoping to discover it there. i failed.
I searched the sands and even the sea.
I asked the flowers, the trees, the grass, even the fishes…they gave me no answer.
Ive searched far and wide but i found nothing! I discovered nothing!

Until one day,
Somebody came and taught me the magic. I was learning. I was excited.
Finally i'll have the magic…
but…

he left before i could fully learn.
i neverdiscovered the magic.
i came close to doing it but  still i failed.

it was almost mine.
i almost had it.

again…
i have to contend myself.
In looking for it.
Again…I will search.Look.Seek.Until i could do it no more.
I will gaze at the moon.Count the stars.Ask the fishes.Listen to the wind.Until they give me the answers.
I will search and will never stop unless i find
the magic that was never  mine.